Prodrome Cycle Starting Again!!! Grrrrr......

Ever have one of those days when you are just in a grouchy mood?

Well, not the whole day for me, but just since I woke up from a nap a few minutes ago.

Now I feel all moody, snapping, want to just completely "GO OFF", but it's not about any particular thing.

But knowing me, I'm about as even-tempered and easy-going a person as you can ask for, so this is a RED flag.

I  have developed a pattern in recent months, usually starting about the middle of my menstrual cycle (ovulation), where I get just in an absolutely bitchy mood for a few hours, then the mood dissipates but the seizure cycle deteriorates over a period of 10 days to 2 weeks, with bad-ass migraines in my right temple, TONS of little sub-clinical seizures (brain farts), crazy memory issues (including hours or days I can't remember - sort of like a drunk blackout without the party), verbal issues (like right now, trying to find some of the words I want for this post...I can tell you that tomorrow I will be editing the hell out of it...but this is it for right now), loss of appetite, or alternating between starving and nauseous. 

In about 2 weeks, I should expect the complex-partial seizure from hell. My aura is a really an exaggerated panic attack (something little will happen and I will get all paranoid-feeling about it), then have what appears to be a grand mal seizure, which is actually I believe a  complex-partial seizure that involves most of my body although I don't lose awareness (I might not remember much of it later, but I am fully aware when it is happening).

NEWSFLASH ~~~

I just burned dinner. I NEVER burn dinner, even when I'm online.

Apparently I COMPLETELY lost track of time...

I started to get really upset about it. My very sweet husband just hugged me, and my question "chicken breast not worth it?" became "chicken breath not work it?".

See what I mean by brain farts?

This sucks.

We called the pharmacy and double-checked my Ativan rx, and ordered a refill - THAT is one drug I NEVER want to run out of!!! Mainly because it's my best bet for stopping this in its tracks, until I get stabilized on the VNS.